As the world wide web, technology and the devices we use to access the internet, continue to invade the boundaries of privacy, in so much as they permeate and define our very existence; more and more people are finding themselves drowning in a sea of useless electronic information.
Many parts of the internet are full of useless junk.
As an example, take a look at blogging. Today, anyone can write and publish a blog. And they usually do! /insert self deprecating sarcasm here. Henceforth, the majority of blogs really do not disseminate helpful or worthwhile information.
Some of the most popular blogs on the internet are hair and makeup blogs. There are literally millions of rank amateurs, espousing directions on everything from how to apply mascara, to do it yourself egg facials. These “gurus” (yes, that’s what they call themselves) post everything from still pictures to videos synced with music, in an attempt to convince women that they alone hold the secret to how to look thin, young and exactly like everyone else! The picture above is of Michelle Phan, she is the Grand Puba of makeup gurus!
This is a picture of my hair. It looks like this 1 out of every 42 days. That one and only day, is the day I arrive home from the salon and Tiffany has worked on my tresses for a mere 3 hours! The other 41 days, I’m lucky to spend 3 minutes doing my hair. That is why I do not write a beauty blog.
Speaking of grooming and doing one’s hair, leads me onto the next category, insane pet blogs. No, the pets aren’t insane, the owners are.
The owners post picture
after picture,
after picture,
after picture, of their pets just sitting there. Adorable, but not really doing anything different or unique, from shot to shot.
Oh dear, pardon the interruption, we have a Guest Rebuttal.
While it may appear, to the less than discerning eye, that the previous pictures are quite similar; I assure you that each is depicting a separate and distinct action. Taking place are licking, tasting, wistfully staring, intensely staring, down right glaring and smoothing. All different and all worthy of their own independent shot – thank you.
Aside from blogs about pets and blogs where the pets seize control of the keyboard and speak directly to you, the audience; is the less than useful blog directed towards a writer’s obsession.
Their world revolves around one “thing” and they feel the unrestrained need to share this “thing” with you.
Believing that they themselves are interesting, leads to the belief that what they are interested in must be of value to the reader.
Bombarding you with goofy antidotes and trivial nuances about this “thing,” what ever it may be, holding such importance to them and their insignificant life.
It brings the entire process to bordering on narcissism.
But, today, my blog will do none of the previously described behaviors. Today my blog will be useful and succinct.
If your husband has a hands free device in his car (like Ford’s Sync), the kind that allows him to put you on speaker phone so that everyone in the car can hear what you have to say;
make sure you know he’s alone in the car before you answer his question of “How are you?” And out of your mouth bellows the words, “I have cramps!”
Which is followed by uncontrollable laughter throughout the vehicle! I got lucky. Our Cousin Knit-Pearl was in the car. Not Beloved’s boss or some prospective client he was hoping to impress.
